Hi, I am Nirman. After 5 years in the Sacred Sangha , I am taking a prolonged break. My family ties are calling me to attend to my aging parents. My fathers cancerous body is deteriorating and I want to take this (maybe last) chance of creating more peace and ease between us. I also see this break as a time to unfold and integrate my own personal maleness and my own expression of it in a more confident and wholesome way.
Many of you experienced me as a more introverted member of "our SACRED Sangha". Mostly I have been in such an intense healing process, that it took all of my physical and emotional resources to integrate what was happening to me. And it was a lot. A long way from meeting Braahman in 2014 on the beach of KP. At that time, I was in deep pain and distress, physically and emotionally. Being refused by one healer on the Island as a "hopeless case", my nervous system being too numb and inaccessible for healing. I was not able to even walk short distances without excruciating pains in my legs and feet. These were the reasons, why I had to give up my social life in Germany and quit my profession as a nuclear research scientist.
I started my healing and spiritual journey 27 years ago. At that time , I already had given up on conventional medicines, understanding that they would only numb my pains temporarily, but not heal. So I tried many alternative and so called New Age approaches. I practiced Chi Kong for several years and then moved to the Osho world where I did quite a lot of emotional release. Feeling somehow discouraged, I went to several spiritual teachers including Adima, Samarpan, Gangagi and Eli with whom I discovered the Enneagram. Although I made many discoveries with them, I did not find any solution to ease the tensions in my body that were responsible for my physical limitations.
At the end of my 9 years of work as a physicist in Germany, I found myself first with crutches and later only able to walk hundreds of meters. Seeing no hope to recover, I left everything behind and went to Thailand seeking for recovery. Until that point, I understood next to nothing about the relationship between physical, emotional pains and unresolved karma, traumatic events, repressed emotions. I also had no clue about the effects of emotional traits, unhealthy habits and irrational beliefs inherited from my ancestors.
In Thailand, feeling desperate that my 21 years of search failed to heal my body, I sincerely prayed for help. A few months later, I met Braahman right in front of my bungalow on the beach in Koh Phangan. After a few initial meetings, I attended every Satsang and Workshop of Braahman and applied his recommended body detoxes. I was very surprised when I noticed my pains diminishing and found myself starting to become alive again. Understanding that I had finally found something which worked on me, I committed to join Braahman’s Sangha. My wish was both to further heal myself and pass the message to other people, especially my ailing parents. Being close to Braahman and his other students for so many years I observed what true healing really means. How it is always rooted in releasing those individual negative beliefs and attitudes, which eventually manifest as a disease in a human body. Braahman always being right there with me, where I needed him, my muscular tensions and fears started to ease up and I started to become alive again. A feeling which accelerated the more I trusted into the new unknown arising in me.
After 4 years in the Sangha, I went back to visit my parents. Although I regularly informed them about my heath improvement, they were very surprised to see me so healthy and enthusiastic. Very quickly, my 75 year old parents opened up to receive all my tips about nutrition and the three of us started a 10 day colon and liver cleanse. My mother even opened herself to receive healing sessions. It was a big and unexpected surprise for me to see my parents welcoming me in my new profession, that of a healer. A similar story also happened with an aging friend who is still working as a karma therapist. For the first time, he did not put himself on top of me but accepted to receive my help.
My five years within the Sacred Sangha has brought me more than I could imagine. I am incredibly grateful to Braahman and the Sangha members for all the love and incredible support they have offered me.
What else is there to say?
Let's meet up at the next Ecstatic Dance on Koh Phangan!!!